Kit:

Right, so you're fancy. This is a generally useless trait for your friends' exploitation. I can fix computers. You know how to apply eyeliner. Not a fair trade. Anyway, I've decided to come and extract something useful from you, yer bastard. It's about shaving. Seriously, I have read all the Notes about how you Don't Shave Against The Grain!!! but, seriously, man.

Seriously.

Little fuckers don't go nowhere unless you give them some fuck-you against the grain action. Little fuckers just hang there on your face, defying your con-graino (with grain) action. So what the fuck? This is my question to you.

-Brian

Raffi:

I don't hate your dad, at least not proactively. His deep seated intense loathing for me does engender a sort of negative response, which I think is reasonable. I know you think this is not true, but merely because when I am not around he does not mutter hurtful things about me is not a sure sign of lack of pure burning hatred. Many possessors of pure burning hatred mutter nothing about the object of their hatred when he is either present or not present. Many, like your father, would rather attempt to keep the hatred a secret, a deep, dark secret, so that when the time comes the object of the hatred is more vulnerable.

And you know what I mean by "the time." Inevitable revenge is often the reward of the secret hater. In this case, of course, since I have done nothing wrong to him or anyone in his family, I suppose it's "inevitable venge," but no matter. He's going to fucking venge me some day, or at least plans on it, plots in his way, plots to get me with my guard down so one day he can reach into my rectum and bloodily remove my prostate to claim it for his own.

Well, let me just tell you something: not gonna happen, buckaroo.

-Brian